The Nebulous Kingdom from etsy

Every time I remodel a bathroom the conversation always stops at the toilet. I will easily and swiftly choose your tile, counters, floors, faucets, sinks, even your towels, but my selections stop at the toilet. Why? Well in my opinion the toilet area is a sacred space. I really don’t care to share your bowl size. Nor do I care to know if you need a one piece or two. What you do with your giggly bits is entirely up to you.  It is a space of quiet, and intimate vulnerability that is as individual as nature itself. Me selecting your toilet is essentially like me telling you the kind of undergarments you should wear without knowing the proper sizes.

Toilet exposure in Switzerland

Time and time again I have been in the position to make such a decision. Unfortunately my dear mavens, I find the water closet a highly classified place of business. Therefore, it is my duty to educate and share my knowledge, letting you make the decision that is right for you and your snicker doodles.

The toilet

So how do you pick the right one?

Just like the egotistic wallstreet tycoon, the toilet with the most appeal is faster, more powerful and quiet while destroying everything around it. When selecting a toilet here are a few factors that you should keep in mind, before you make a selection.

Top 10 amenities in a toilet:

1) Comfort. Many are available in comfort height. What does that mean? The toilet is close to the height of a chair so you expend less energy seating and getting back up. Can I insert this into general life?

2) Style-A toilet is not an American patron of consumerism without options. Skirts, traps, seats, trip levers…all available to customize to suit your needs and desires.

3) Bowl shape-Do you prefer round or elongated? How much room do you have? Elongated bowls are more comfortable but space can be an issue so you can choose compact elongated.

4) Performance-From Double cyclone from toto, to Kohlers Class five technology, every manufacturer has options galore when it comes to flushing performance and hygiene.

5) Water conservation-Most toilets now use less water by incorporating larger flush valves and larger trapways. This ensures less clogs for less water use.

6) Noise-Ever been woke up at three am by the gurgling airplane sounding vacuum? And then been unable to sleep as the tank fills with water for what seems like 10 years? New toilets don’t do that!

7) 1 peice or 2-One piece toilets are just as they sound. Their tank is not separate. Performance is the same as a two piece, but word on the street is a one piece is less likely to leak and is more hygienic.

8) Efficiency-Most toilets now use less water. But thanks to the EPA’s water sense program, manufacturers are trying to outdo themselves by manufacturing HET toilets. A.K.A. High efficiency toilets. Less water, better performance

9) Concealed or exposed trap-Concelaed traps feature a smooth surface at the back of the toilet rather than an open area. Easier to clean and also adds to the design element.

10) Color-Companies like Kohler have 35 colors to choose from. What is America without the choice of an orange or pink toilet option!

My top three manufacturer that I recommend for toilets are Kohler, American Standard and Toto. The average toilet costs between $300-$800. Each bell and whistle you add makes the price go up. Also keep in mind that the more efficient toilets can be more dollars and that is not a decision that should be taken lightly. If you are in the market for a new toilet the one amenity that should be kept on the table is water conservation. The average toilet from twenty years ago flushed (wasted) FIVE gallons of water PER flush. You know that water cooler at the office? One of those every time you flush. Now imagine an office of ten people, twenty people or fifty people flushing on average four times an hour. An average family of four using an old toilet will flush 300-400 gallons of water PER DAY!!

All three of the listed manufacturers above offer a toilet with Water Sense, the EPA’s seal of water conservation, stamped approval. They have a fancy little blue and green sticker that signifies water conservation. What does that mean exactly? In comparison to the above mentioned five gallons per flush, most toilets today have higher performance with an impressive 1.28 to 1.6 gallons per flush. And many manufacturers offer dual flush technology. Dual flush means one flush is for the down and dirty, (using up 1.28/1.6 gallons of water) while the latter uses .9 gallons of water. (My flush of choice since I pee like fifty times a day!)

Dual flush technology


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Harley cat

I don’t like it when you talk about my giggly bits that way……I may decide to ignore you as soon as I get what I want.

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Images: The nebulous kingdom, the money pitt, fwd emails

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